Fic: Faith and Trust

[callmeonetrack.livejournal.com]

Title: Faith and Trust
Author: taragel
Characters: Kara, Laura
Spoilers: An extended scene set during 4.07 “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner”
Rating: PG
Length: 1523 words

For frolicndetour, who asked for “a story set in season four in which she bonds with anyone other than the usual suspects (Lee, Sam or Leoben), e.g. Adama or Roslin.”

“Will you help me?”

“Yes.”

It’s easier than she thought it would be to say it. Especially considering the last time they met the woman tried to shoot her in the face. But Kara knows a thing or two about being haunted. She’s replayed the hybrid’s words in her head enough times. She knows a thing or two about visions you can’t escape from too.

When Roslin asks her to get Captain Agathon, Kara almost smiles. The president still doesn’t trust her, (which is pretty clear from the way she keeps trying to insist the Cylons strung her up like their own little mousetrap and sent her back to the fleet—and who knows, maybe she’s right), but she’s asking for her help on this. Kara thinks it’s a start.

She turns to go but just as she reaches the curtain, Roslin calls her back. “Wait!”

Kara turns, face wary and body weary. She’s been back over 24 hours but she can still smell the stench of the Demetrius on her body. Despite the scarf and the sheen of sweat on the woman’s face from the doloxan in her bloodstream, Roslin seems stronger in comparison, fiery even. She’s got a light in her eyes that Kara’s seen before, back when a president asked her to travel light years to retrieve an arrow.

“Madame President?”

Roslin smiles, and even if her charm is stretched thinner now, she still looks like the woman Kara hugged after Lee came out alive from that tylium mission years ago. Her eyes are bright, when she asks, “What does it feel like?”

She blinks. “I’m sorry, Madame President. I don’t—”

“Dying.” Her gaze is penetrating, focused. “You’ll forgive my indelicacy, I hope, Captain, but I need answers and I don’t have a lot of time here. I think you’ll agree you’re rather uniquely qualified to provide them.”

Kara hesitates, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably. “Actually, I’m not. I told you. All I remember is blacking out and waking up in my viper. I was circling Earth.”

“Ah yes, the constellations matched the description in the Scrolls of Pythia and the tomb on Kobol.” Roslin frowns. “The signs we’ve been waiting for.”

Kara braces herself for more questions, prepared to go through the whole thing again, what she saw, what she didn’t see, how she found her way back. But Roslin surprises her. “You believe in the Gods, Captain.”

It’s not really a question. Kara nods slowly anyway.

“Do you think you’re the one?” Roslin clears her throat, and she winces a bit as she shifts against the pillow. “The dying leader from the prophecies?”

So that’s what this is about? The president’s jealous? Afraid Kara’s special destiny trumps her own special destiny? She could almost laugh. Yes, because it’s been real special so far.

“No, sir.” The bitterness catches in her throat and she pushes away the memory of the hybrid’s words echoing in her head. You are the harbinger of doom, Kara Thrace. “But I think we all have a role to play.” She steps closer, coming to the side of Roslin’s bed. “I don’t know what happened to me out there, but I have to believe I’m here now—back—for a reason. And finding that basestar…that was a sign. I know the Cylons hold the key to finding the way to Earth. I can feel it.”

Laura tilts her head, her expression neutral as she peers at her. Kara thinks the President would have made an excellent Triad player. “You’ve always had a connection with them, haven’t you?”

She stiffens.

“I remember you with the Cylon, that Leoben model from the Geminon Traveler. Your hand on the glass. You felt something then, too.”

“He— That model is—” She flounders for the words. Obsessed with her? Convinced there’s a pattern that only he can see? Right? She settles on, “He knows things.”

To Kara’s surprise, Roslin smiles. “Yes, so he says. In fact, right before I airlocked him, he whispered to me that Adama was a Cylon.”

She starts, her eyebrows raising. “The Old—The Admiral? A Cylon?” A harsh chuckle bubbles up, unbidden.

Roslin nods. “Or Lee perhaps.”

Kara’s eyes go wide, but she just says, “Hmm. That...might actually explain a lot about Lee.”

The woman actually giggles and Kara’s lips curve. She feels almost comfortable for the first time since she entered sickbay—maybe since the first time she came back to Galactica. But then Roslin freezes, her hand clapping over her mouth, and a look of horror settling on her face. “My goodness, they really did make you perfect,” there’s anguish in her voice. “Your face, your voice, the way you laugh. You seem so…human.”

Kara fights not to roll her eyes, but her irritation vanishes in a wave of anger. What more can she do to convince her, to convince all of them? “You are so sure I’m a Cylon, and you’re so hell-bent on protecting us—protecting the Fleet—that you can’t even frakking see what’s right in front of you.”

The edge in her voice has Roslin eying her defiantly but there’s something more in her gaze, a desperation or maybe it’s fear, that makes Kara soften her voice. “Look, these might be your people, but they’re my family. If I thought for even a second that I could or would do anything to hurt them, I wouldn’t frakking wait for you to open an airlock for me. Do you understand that?”

Roslin’s gaze is level but she nods.

Kara huffs a hard laugh and shakes her head. “We’re not so different, you know. We both want the same thing.”

“Earth.” Roslin says softly, her head bowing for a second, before she lifts it again, renewed fervor in her eyes. “These visions of the Opera House, they’re getting stronger, and I don’t know what they mean. I need to see this hybrid.”

Kara shifts, uncomfortable again. “And I’ll help you, but you should know it’s not exactly… well, the hybrid is…cryptic.” In her head, she hears the hybrid’s warning again. The harbinger of doom, but for whom? The Cylons? Humanity? She shoots a glance at the president who is looking pale again, lying back against the pillows as if the confession about the visions getting stronger alone sapped her energy.

Suddenly, Kara has an urge to confide in her. To pull up a chair and grasp her hand and hold on, as she tells her everything. How confused she is, how the picture of Earth is fading now, how she’s afraid they’ve found the cylons too late. But the woman in this bed whose body is riddled with cancer is not her mother.

“Just don’t expect miracles, okay?”

“Oh? Like back-from-the-dead miracles?” This time it’s the president who smiles and even as Kara smiles back, she feels a pang for time lost. She would have liked to have known this woman better.

Suddenly, Roslin shoots a hand out, wrapping it around Kara’s wrist. Her grip is amazingly strong for a bedridden woman on death’s door. “Why do you trust them, Kara?”

She pauses. Lee told her once that trust was something they had to have, the thing that made them human, that separated them from the Cylons. Kara doesn’t know if that’s true anymore. She saw trust on the Basestar when that Six let Natalie snap her neck.

She’d read once in some old book that trust was a product of your head, logically knowing everything would turn out for the best, while faith was in your heart, sensing on an emotional level that things would work out, despite any lack of proof or even proof to the contrary.

“Trust is about logic, Sir. I don’t necesarily trust the Cylons,” she says. “But I choose to have faith.”

Roslin is silent, those measuring eyes still watching her. Kara says, “Let’s get you out of here, OK?”

She flicks open the knife, blade pointing towards Roslin, and the President freezes, her gaze uncertain. Kara flips the razor, so the handle extends out. “Thought you might not want to wear that particular accessory to the basestar.” She nods to the medical bracelet snapped around the President’s wrist.

Kara watches the president take a breath, then reach a shaking hand out for the knife. Her grasp is strong though when she grabs it, and she saws through the thin plastic of the medical ID fairly quickly. Roslin closes the knife and holds it out to her, but Kara just looks at it for a moment, remembering how she used to think that it was a symbol— sharp and dangerous, cold and hard—of what you needed to be to survive. It didn’t protect her in the end.

Now she knows better. She puts her faith in other things. But Roslin’s still learning.

“Keep it,” she shakes her head. “I don’t need it anymore.”

She calls Helo and makes the arrangements, and as Kara escorts Roslin to the hangar deck, slowing her pace to keep in step with the President, she thinks about it. Trust and faith. Maybe they’re not so different really.

Perhaps you need both to move forward.

-0-

Comments

[ivanolix.livejournal.com]

I like how there's not really any vulnerability here; they're both up on their game, not holding back but not falling apart either. It's a breath of fresh air, even if it is a chilly one.

[callmeonetrack.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much. I think Laura and Kara's relationship always had that bit of edge to it, except for a couple moments, and definitely once she came back in season four. Laura's pretty unforgiving, and Kara is all too forgiving, but she doesn't let it make her weak...it was an interesting challenge to try to convey all that.

[rdave1.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed reading this. We rarely got to see any real interaction between Roslin and Kara. We got a few glimers here and there. As much as these women are different, they are very much a like.

I love Kara's comment on how they might be Roslin's people but they are her family. Love how she associates trust with Lee and trust is logic which is also Lee-like and faith is Kara because her actions are controlled by her emotions.

Really great fic. Few words but it says alot.

[callmeonetrack.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I would've loved more scenes with them. They do have a lot of similarities and differences that it's interesting to explore.

The people/family line was probably my favorite in this one. It's where the story started to hang together for me. And yes logic is Lee but also Laura too! and faith is Kara, so together they're gonna make it happen.
♥

[frolicndetour.livejournal.com]

Just running in to apologize for not having read this yet; I'll definitely get to it tonight or tomorrow first thing. But I'm SO EXCITED: I was hoping my requestee would write some Kara/Roslin interaction! :DDDD

[rose-griffes.livejournal.com]

“Trust is about logic, Sir. I don’t necesarily trust the Cylons,” she says. “But I choose to have faith.”

Oh, excellent line. I like Kara sharing her knife as well--it felt right in a symbolic way. Yay, Kara & Laura fic!

[callmeonetrack.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! You know it's hard to pin down Kara's thoughts on the Cylons. I like to think she never really trusted them fully, because how could she after the destruction, and Leoben, but that she had faith that they would help show the way to Earth.

Oh I'm so glad you said that about the Razor. I really wanted something in the scene so that it wasn't all talk, talk, talk. And I think the place Laura is in right here, she is a razor. She's become a hard, cutting thing...and in a few episodes in The Hub, Elosha will point that out and she'll change a little. But right now, Kara's already moved on to the place of acceptance of dealing with the cylons and finding her role in the scriptures, and Laura is still doubting and questioning and taking the hard line... so yeah, I thought it was fitting in ways!

[frolicndetour.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love it. You have a great sense for these two characters' voices.

The edge in her voice has Roslin eying her defiantly but there’s something more in her gaze, a desperation or maybe it’s fear, that makes Kara soften her voice. “Look, these might be your people, but they’re my family. If I thought for even a second that I could or would do anything to hurt them, I wouldn’t frakking wait for you to open an airlock for me. Do you understand that?”

<3 That's definitely something Kara would say, and do.

Suddenly, Kara has an urge to confide in her. To pull up a chair and grasp her hand and hold on, as she tells her everything. How confused she is, how the picture of Earth is fading now, how she’s afraid they’ve found the cylons too late. But the woman in this bed whose body is riddled with cancer is not her mother.

Guh. There is that connection, which I've always wondered if it wasn't in play at least subconsciously when Roslin told Kara she had cancer before sending her after the arrow.

Fabulous job - love the reluctant humor, Laura asking her what it's like to die, the reluctant bonding over Lee and their mutual determination to find Earth, and the aura of distrust and possible dying leader envy hovering over everything. Thanks so much for writing my prompt!!

[callmeonetrack.livejournal.com]

YAY I'm so glad!! (I apologize too for how short it is. I thought I had a lot more to say, but when I tried to go longer it was just too on-the-nose and unsubtle, and slightly repetitive too.)

I think as much as Kara admires Roslin and respects her and does think she's the dying leader...they never really (on the show) crossed that familiar line to her becoming family to Kara. (I think that's why I was so touched by the moment in my icon from the finale. It was unexpected and so lovely the way Kara immediately reached out to shore her up like that. )

Hee. I tried to be careful not to allude too much to things I'd already written in my Faith, Like Wings fic or something I wrote for the smutstrav fic when Roslin asks for Kara on her deathbed, lest I give myself away. But yes, I think the parallels have to be strong for her, considering she does remember (as she tells Helo on Demetrius) that bit with her mom Leoben showed her. That's a really interesting angle that Roslin knew that and used it for the arrow mission! I could totally see that.

It was a little far from your original prompt, but I also toyed with the idea of writing a fic of Kara's three mother figures, Socrata, Cain, and Roslin, with the idea of showing a moment with each one where Kara believes them, puts her trust in them, even when she probably shouldn't. This would have been Roslin's moment, because after everything you wouldn't expect Kara to help her, to trust her, to put her faith in this woman. But she does (because she's awesome like that. ;)

I'm so glad you liked it! (And I'm really surprised that you didn't guess it was me! Although you probably didn't figure I'd written twice, and already had me pegged for Beginner's Luck. ;)

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*happysigh* Women! Talking!

Oh, Kara. I love that Laura still believes so firmly that Kara is a Cylon.

[callmeonetrack.livejournal.com]

Women! Talking! A lot! Hee.

Laura's a Razor! She's steadfast in her convictions. (Until two episodes later anyway, when Elosha shows her just how hard she's become in a fairly anvillicious way.)

But also I thought it was a really good insight Bill(!) has when he points out in Six of One(?) that she's afraid Kara might be stealing her thunder by being the prophecied one.

[callmeonetrack.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much! I'm so glad you enjoyed.

Yes! Kara comes back a woman with a mission. She may not know who or what she is, but she believes, unswervingly, that she has a purpose to fulfill and a part to play. Poor Roslin is no longer so sure of her own place in matters.

Thank you! I really wanted to have some movement and a gesture of some sort, so that the whole thing wasn't just two heads talking. The knife seemed like a good symbol of where Roslin's headspace still is and where Kara's no longer was.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

[cpt-vajj.livejournal.com]

remembering how she used to think that it was a symbol— sharp and dangerous, cold and hard—of what you needed to be to survive. It didn’t protect her in the end. .... Trust and faith. Maybe they’re not so different really. Perhaps you need both to move forward.

It is really an interesting take on Kara's thinking...how the things she thought would help her survive might not be as important as other factors. I love the personal growth shown in the story.

[callmeonetrack.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I think that post Demetrius Kara was really different, much more calmer and settled because she felt she'd done the thing she was supposed to, found the sign she needed to get them on the path to Earth. (Of course it all fell apart again after Revelations sadly).